The Importance of Acceptance
How perspective shifts can turn your life around.
Covid-19 has emotionally taxed most people. Over the last four months, I have seen how the inner pressure gets expressed in different forms. Some friends complain about everything starting from the virus to how the Government is handling this crisis. Some others complain about how the virus has bound them at home. Yet others complain about how working from home has increased arguments with the spouse and other members of the family. Some have complained about the financial impact of this pandemic.
This combination of pent-up emotions and economic pressure is lethal. When it gets released through arguments, there is a lot of collateral damage. The result is that most relationships are on the edge.
Having young friends who are in their late twenties and early thirties has both benefits and challenges. It’s difficult for me to understand their world view and way of life as there is a three-decade gap.
THE STORY
A friend of mine, who is in his early thirties, came over with his girlfriend for dinner. My friend mentioned that he had lost his job and needs to move from an apartment to paying guest accommodation. Moving out meant that his plan of marriage has to be postponed until he got a new job. The girlfriend wanted a timeline or a road map ahead. My friend was trying to explain that getting a new position in the current market situation is not an easy task. He is attempting earnestly, and as soon as he gets a job, they can fix a date and get married.
This statement resulted in a big argument between the two. My wife managed to calm them down. We had dinner and spent the rest of the evening talking about everything except work and Covid-19. The couple left in a pretty good mood, so the evening had a happy ending.
The next morning my wife and I were discussing the events that unfolded the previous evening. We both concluded that what the couple needed was to develop some resilience and patience. They both were right from their respective standpoints. Given their background and their upbringing, their world views and arguments were in order. They were raised in comfortable homes, went to good schools and colleges. They got their first jobs on campus in a reputed multinational company with good pay. Their jobs required travel, so they both traveled across the globe on company expenses. They had assumed that life would always take them forward. The thought of a set-back never really crossed their minds. Therefore, they were not emotionally prepared to go through this situation.
REFLECTION
My thoughts went back to the Bhagwad Gita. I was amazed at how relevant the teachings hold even today. The context may have been different; but the fundamental problems have remained more or less the same.
Arjuna was someone who never lost a battle. He was a warrior who achieved whatever he wanted through hard work and determination. Arjuna also had a substantial value for Dharma. It is this value that made sure the Pandavas stay in the forest for 13 years. With this complete personality, when he came to the battlefield, he had an emotional breakdown. This breakdown was because he realized that he would have to kill his teacher and also his grandfather. Encouraging words and even rebuke from Bhagwan Krishna could not help him. Arjuna continued to give reasons for not fighting the war.
Furthermore, the character of Bheeshma can be compared to the people with whom we are attached. Dronacharyaji can be compared to the understanding with which we live our lives. With this perspective, when we look at our lives, we will see that these are the only things that we are up against. When these two are questioned or placed under pressure, we get into the fight, flight, or freeze mode.
This is the pressure that the couple was facing. Their comfort zone was facing a real threat, and this made them fight with each other.
PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS
The Bhagwad Gita has, over the last decade, been the go-to resource for me during challenging times. When I compare my problems to those of Arjuna, they appear insignificant. If Arjuna could free himself from that emotional grip, I can too.
Understanding and accepting that conflicts and challenges are an integral part of life are two different things. When we say that they are part and parcel of life, we usually exclude ourselves from the picture.
Therefore, when these conflicts and challenges enter our lives, we resist and get rattled. What’s interesting about this approach is that the more we resist, the larger the conflict or challenge appears.
So, when they arrive, give yourself this auto suggestion: “I am willing to go through this situation as I have the knowledge, the will, and the resources to respond.”
This will reduce the intensity of the problem and help in bringing out a positive response. If you feel that your situation is bad, compare it with Arjuna’s, and you will handle the situation much more positively and confidently. The result is that you will come out more confident and more decisive.
Ajay Ushakanth is a guest writer here on the Masterlife blog and is also a Masterlife Expert.
A former businessman who teaches the Vedas to budding entrepreneurs in Bengaluru, out of a co-working hub, Ajay has become an unlikely member of the rapidly-burgeoning gig economy.
He now imparts his learnings to others and has helped people across all spheres of life and work.
You can access all modules of his course: Become More Spiritual on the Masterlife app.
